The time, 3:28 p.m. Jan sprawls placidly over the living room couch, her glazed eyes fixed on the glittery screen of the large, black fun-box, that itself sits placidly, almost smugly, on its wooden throne centered against the wall. The rays from the devious cathode tube, deep within the heart of the fun-box, penetrate Jan's brain, inducing a euphoric senselessness more addictive than any other condition presently known to America. The glassy-eyed stupidity Jan enjoys prevents her auditory canals from registering her mom's voice as it calls sweetly, nurturingly, "Jan, would you like me to bring you something to drink?"

The channel? Unimportant because MTV has taken over the airwaves. A series of swift hostile acquisitions of all the major networks has brought them preeminence in the broadcasting world. The popularity of music videos has skyrocketed, becoming the premiere genre of the entertainment industry, even beating out the quality sensational journalism shows that we all love, like Hard Copy and Current Affair. Music videos have replaced movies, with people electing to stay home and watch videos with friends rather than see the new silver screen masterpieces like Nightmare on Elmstreet Part VI: Freddie Does Daydreams. MTV, as the vanguard of the music video industry, makes unimaginable amounts of money.

Under the leadership of a Machiavellian CEO, Rufus Westheimer, MTV consolidated their earnings and expanded with boar-like voraciousness. CBS was the first to fall, then NBC, ABC, and even ESPN.

These first few takeovers led to a domino effect throughout the television world. A general panic swept through all the networks not yet affiliated with MTV. They feared being locked out of the new era in American broadcasting. The major networks had been resistant to MTV's attempts to acquire them, but soon, after the giants had fallen, smaller networks began rushing to MTV and pleading for mergers. Networks swarmed to hop on the MTV bandwagon. Those who made it with MTV rose on the shirttails of the innovative giant that led the biggest entertainment explosion in this country's history. Those who didn't gain a share in the MTV pie didn't live long enought to regret it, as they joined the ever-growing network burial plot and were quickly forgotten.

Fortunately, MTV has had the insight not to burden their viewers with twenty-four hours of Headbanger's Ball. As a matter of fact MTV only plays videos on two of their channels. The rest of their channels are occupied with the new, tidal wave trend--Talk Shows.

Unlike their forerunners, Donahue, Oprah, and Geraldo, the contemporary episodes have adopted a more brash, unrestrained tone, symbolic of the searching, restless, mindset of the American public.

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